Strip Club Shenanigans: All about nipples

Almost every day I go into work, I hear:

"Can I borrow some latex?"

The city where I have worked is pretty strict about how the strippers dress. Among a few rules: pubic hairs cannot be showing, the ass crack needs to be covered, and most of the breast needs to be covered in a pasties. (Before almost the entire breast needing to be concealed, only the areola had to be covered.)

And what happens if a stripper doesn't adhere to these city ordinances? Well, both she and the manager are booked into jail. Hence why the women constantly ask about what they call "latex".

Because of a loophole in the city ordinance, women can get away with wearing, let's say, "liquid pasties", usually in the form of fabric paint. They usually prefer to wear flesh-colored paint so that it is not so obvious that they have to cover the breast. When I first went to a strip club in 2011, I definitely saw the latex covering their nipples, but I thought it was there for decorative purposes.

Gold is usually a popular color to go with.

Of course, sucking nipples is illegal to do at the clubs. But it still happens. I have to wonder which idiots think that doing so is such a good idea. Some are not even discreet about it, trying to grab women's nipples with their mouths while she is onstage. Is the latex not enough of a deterrent? (I think I have noticed that the more obvious the paint is - especially in color - the less likely a man will try to suck on the nipples.) Does it not cross the customers' minds that there have been men before them in the same day who have wanted to or actually have sucked on their nipples? Do they not consider how unhygienic it is? How creepy they are being by trying to bite a woman's nipples without their permission?

When customers ask me about VIP rooms, other than outright asking about if the strippers will perform obviously illegal acts for them, whether or not they can remove the pasties or bottoms. I can understand why this question is asked. In their minds, they are probably questioning whether or not the legal side of the dress code is only applicable towards the more public areas, making it so the more private areas (like a VIP room) allows strippers to show their...private areas. Unfortunately, the dress code applies everywhere there are customers.

There was one club I worked at for a short time where the strippers were required by the club to have their tops on at all times, although I heard that dancers could "tip the managers well" *coughbribecough* so that they would turn the other way if they took off their tops in the VIP rooms. Even with this mandate, the management still required the strippers to wear latex on their breasts. I guess in case they did remove their tops during private dances or had a nip slip. Weirdly enough, they had a slogan for their VIP rooms which said, "What happens in VIP, stays in VIP!" Other than being expected to have to adhere to the dress code, I felt that this created an awkward miscommunication between customer and dancers, that is, if the dancers were law-abiding.

At most of the clubs I worked at, I would see strippers removing their latex in a single way - by awkwardly peeling it off. However, at this one club, I guess someone had discovered that using duct tape to remove it worked very well. So at the end of the day and night shifts, I would see rolls of duct tape being passed from stripper to stripper. It seemed that the tape only hurt those who had sensitive skin or nipples. Otherwise, the removal was pretty pain-free and effortless.

I have to wonder if the fabric paint can cause any harm in the short-or-long-term. I haven't heard anything from the dancers, but the question still lingers in the back of my head. I also wonder: what would it take for these city ordinances to be repealed? Not only do they hurt business, but unnecessary and over-the-top force is exhibited for even minor infractions. Until major reform is passed, I guess strippers will be passing along bottles of fabric paint for time to come.

Like reading about nipples? Then consider supporting my writing!

Become a Patron!  

Strip Club Shenanigans: Depending solely on your looks quickly gets you nowhere

In my last post in the series, I talked about what the women looked like, and shared how what is advertised is not what you get. (White? Blonde? Where do you think you are, Sweden?) The dancers (and waitresses) were of various sizes and ages, and especially in this sort of establishment, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I had also mentioned that I personally did not find many of the other women to be attractive, and some customers sure complained to me about that. However, many customers became "infatuated" (let's hope not really) with at least one dancer there. I remember I was taking a break and sitting with one man, and he was so dazzled by the beauty of all of the dancers. It was like he was in Heaven. The differences in reactions is very important to keep in mind if you want to work at a strip club, especially as a dancer.

The customers had various preferences when it came to looks. Like with anything when it comes to trying to attract customers, it is best to fulfill a niche than to try (and fail) to appeal to everyone. Even then, when I observed dancers at the end of their shifts, the most attractive ones and the ones with novelty features (*sigh* I hate keep having to say this, but this topic does deserve a post of its own) did not make the most money.


Of those I saw, these were who did:


1) The Best Dancers

Not only were they sought out for lap dances (to be honest, I couldn't really tell a difference between the best dancers and the ones who weren't as good - then again, it's not like I stared), they actually made quite the buck onstage, which can't be said for everyone.

2) The Best Characters

I did see a lot of overlap with the best characters and best dancers. By character I mean those who had a distinct niche. Their costumes, tattoos and piercings, make-up, dancing style, and music they danced to all came together well. For example, a metalhead. Of what I noticed, no worker actually talked about "character". It probably was a branch off of who they already were. Also, characters didn't have to have distinct labels - you could look at a dancer and know what she was all about.

3) The "Therapists"

They understood why older men came in regularly. Not necessarily to feel something stir in their pants, but to relieve them of the loneliness they were feeling at home. Waitresses could capitalize on this really easily as well. As I am not chatty and prefer to listen, this came naturally to me. I would say that being attractive helped me here. (What more would a man want than to have someone listen to his problems, and have that someone be a pretty, young woman?)

4) The Hustlers

These ones worked hard to get an audience. They probably made more money earlier in the day than any other dancer. With all the fees and tips independent contractors pay out at the end of their shifts, hustlers made that pretty easily, which is especially useful at the beginning of the career when you don't really have the swing of things yet. This is another tactic waitresses could utilize. Not in the same way, but the whole, "Would you like to order anything else, sir?" or "plant" drink or meal ideas into their minds.


I found that the best dancers and characters naturally attracted more customers. The therapists and hustlers had to work harder to make big bucks. For the dancers that didn't fit these categories, they usually didn't go far enough, or were more social butterflies than anything else. You might think a social butterfly would do very well at a strip club, and sure, they can. It's just that they actually have to talk with customers. There were always menageries of dancers gossiping with each other in the dressing rooms or at the bar. Sometimes I'm not sure how they made money, as most of the time I saw them interacting with customers was when they had to be onstage. Nevertheless, somehow even the laziest of dancers made more money in one day than I'd see full-time workers in other industries make in a single week.

A dancer depending solely on her looks will ensure she does not make much, especially compared with the others, but being attractive or having novelty features can give a boost. Where I found it helps the most to be naturally attractive is when dancers first sign on. Many of them have to pay the tips/fees out-of-pocket because they did not make enough to cover those during their shift. What I think would help more in this case is going into it knowing what to expect. That's actually why many dancers first started off as waitresses. That way they can observe for hours on end.

My attractiveness hasn't helped me gain more patrons...but maybe my persistence will.

Become a Patron!  

The reasons why women hate the "compliments" in this Kasia Babis illustration

The following scenarios are based on interactions I have had in real life:


1) I have been sitting in a bus station for three hours. For about the first hour, I have been scrolling mindlessly through social media, even posting about doing so. By the second hour, I decide to take out my Kindle to read a book I have been working on. It's a good read, and I become fully immersed in it. Before I know it, I'm two-thirds of the way through, and the main character finds out that his mentor just committed suicide. "Excuse me," I hear a male voice say. Real life and what has been happening in the book have blurred, so it takes me a few seconds to adjust to the surrounding environment. The voice came from a man who looked to be just over fifty-years-old, sitting across from me. "You shouldn't look so serious. I bet you're really pretty when you smile." So I half-smile to appease him, then go back to my book.

2) I'm at a conference and am manning a booth for an organization I volunteer for. I do many things - pass out flyers, get passerby to sign up for emails, talk to people about the organization, etc. Along comes an older man, then he does a double-take when he sees me. After oogling at me for a few seconds, he tells me, "Wow! No wonder why you're getting so many sign-ups. Only if the other conferences I go to had beauties like you. All the women at those - their old age is showing." Thinking this is a good opportunity for another sign-up - or maybe even a donation - I tell him what the organization does, and if he would want to receive emails. "Oh, no thanks. Sounds like a good organization. I love groups that are aimed at younger people, but I get too many emails." And as if we weren't even speaking, he walks off.

3) Taking a break from my work as a waitress in a strip club, I sit at the bar and eat my lunch. When I'm halfway through, a man comes to sit down next to me, and quickly orders a drink. He looks to be in his thirties, and not someone who comes super-regularly - maybe about once or twice a month. Probably a traveling businessman. "How's it been today?" he asks. I respond with, "Alright. It's been slower than it usually is. Hoping it picks up in the next hour." He and I get to talking, then the subject turns to politics. It's always something I tread carefully because I know some people get easily offended by my having different views from them. It seems safe enough, so I eventually tell him about my libertarian views, and he asks a few questions, never having heard of libertarianism before. After talking for a few minutes more, he finishes up the conversation with, "Well, it's been nice talking to you, especially with someone who actually know what they're talking about. I swear, most women are so goddamn stupid about everything. It's nice to finally hear something intelligent." After he finishes his drink, he gets up to leave.

4) About a year later, I'm again doing my waitressing job. Instead of sitting at the bar, I'm in the VIP room sitting with a man who offered to buy me lunch. He wants to know what I do outside of this line of work, so I tell him that I go to college out-of-state, and somehow I get around to my experiences with being a custodian for a residence hall the last summer. The man make this weird face, looks me up-and-down, and exclaims, "You're too beautiful to do that! I mean, you're even too beautiful for this place!" I thank him, but also explain that I need to make money somehow. (Plus, to an extent, I liked working both jobs.) Sadly, he doesn't offer to pay for my tuition, and makes no talk of connecting me with his network. *sigh*

Okay, so what was with these stories? I wrote them out so that if you had not seen a certain illustration by Kasia Babis before, your perceptions of the scenarios would not be influenced by her work. I decided to write this after posting this illustration to my Facebook. Seeing as how many men misunderstood the contexts of the situations presented, I couldn't stand explaining comment-by-comment why women are put off by these "compliments". (And like I say in the Facebook post, they're back-handed compliments at best.)

If you read my scenarios, and thought, "Those weren't too bad," just imagine having these interactions on a weekly, or even daily, basis, depending on the work you do and how much you go out. If each of the scenarios had happened only once, I would think, "Oh, that was weird," and dismiss it. Maybe I would completely forget it over time, or it would a funny story to tell people later. But when these are constant occurrences, it can change how we present ourselves and what we do. Sometimes we may even forgo plans we made weeks earlier because we don't want to be bombarded with, "You should smile more."

In order of frequency, I have #1 happen to me the most, then #3 (bottom left), #2, and finally #4. (As a writer and social media strategist, I get to limit my contact with people in real life.)

There are two things I have found that each of the panels have in common. These interactions don't come off as ones between people who know each other. Why do strangers feels the need to say these kinds of things? I don't care if you find me more attractive if I do [this]. My world does not revolve around you. (I probably won't even be seeing you again.) I also most likely don't want to sleep with you. When we receive "compliments" about our looks in this fashion, it reinforces the notion that we are most valued for how we look. (I recently wrote something similar.)


Now let me explain how I interpreted each panel, and why being "complimented" in this way is really annoying:


1) It seems from my Facebook post, men just read the first sentence and ignored the second one. If a random man compliments our looks in passing, we usually pass it off as whatever. (Unless we're afraid that they'll then follow us and start hitting on us.) Those who aren't usually complimented much may be more glad than most women when they have a stranger compliment their looks. What annoys women is when men tell women "to smile", especially in combination with it having to do with our looks. Do you really expect us to smile all of the time? Is this really about exuding positivity? What if we have a legitimate reason not to smile? (Like a pet just died?) It is not up to any other person to tell you how to feel or look in everyday life. Why, especially, should we care about looking good for any one random stranger?

2) To be honest, I don't have a problem with the second panel, calling people "lovely". I've seen many people call a group "lovelies" or "lovely people". However, I think the point the illustrator was trying to make is that even in professional spaces, men will often bring up how women look, even making inappropriate comments. Sure, you can appreciate how people look, but specifically in work spaces, people will probably better appreciate compliments related to their profession. Don't make anyone feel like you value their looks more than their personality or work ethic.

3) I think this panel is the one open to the most interpretation, which also makes it harder to explain to men. In my experiences, men will compliment my intelligence at the detriment to women in general. From what I've heard from other women, if there is an exaggerated amount of impressiveness with the work they accomplished, they are probably getting hit on, which can create very awkward situations. A lot of women don't want to be hit on when they work, especially by strangers. If they work in a profession where female-to-male ratio is really low, they're already aware of it, and don't need to be talked at about how special they are. Give them compliments like you would give anyone else who accomplished something neat.

4) Like I said, this is the panel I have the least amount of experience with. If you say this to a person, why are you taking a hit at the occupation they currently hold? Why not, "You're very pretty!"? Maybe they enjoy working there. Maybe they are saving up enough money to do what they really want to do in life. Maybe they have to work there because they're in a really bad situation. If you really think you can help them get another occupation, and they actually want a job change, then offer it instead of making disparaging comments about their work. If you are not actually qualified in offering professional help, don't be like this guy. Unless you know for sure that they're looking for a sugar daddy, sex should play no factor in offering help. (Also, a sugar daddy relationship should never be a tit-for-tat kind of exchange.) If you actually want to professionally help someone, you won't learn what they want or need just in passing. So, avoid "You can do so much better than this!" kind of remarks if all that is to the encounter is the cashier ringing up your items. If you strike up a conversation with someone at a conference and they tell you that they don't like their job or are looking for a new one, that could be an appropriate time to comment upon their career.

I hope this offers some insight. If there are other interpretations of these panels that you would like to share, please post them in the comments.


Tips for interacting with people:

• Don't be condescending
• Value people for more than their looks, and be aware of when your comments can come off as objectifying (that is, your sexual interest in or disdain for them distracts from the fact that they're human beings)
• Just because you say things to your friends (people you already have established relationships with) doesn't mean they're appropriate to say to strangers
• Read speech and bodily cues - if they seem very uncomfortable, you may want to tone down any assertiveness, stop flirting, or leave the person be
• Understand the environmental context you are in, and judge from that and the person you are interacting with whether or not it is appropriate to flirt, talk about your political opinions, etc.
• Especially in professional contexts, think it over whether or not to flirt with someone - it could be unwanted or inappropriate, depending on who you are talking to and what you're saying
• If you only or mostly give people compliments when you're flirting with them, it doesn't come off as very genuine

As it seems I keep having to explain, genuine compliments are good. But if you only dole them out while flirting, give them a back-handed one (say something good while inferring something bad about them), or disparage their gender, etc., then you detract from the positive experience. If you want people to give you nice compliments, it's up to you to set help set up a precedent in your circles on "compliment etiquette".

Help give me more time to write up analyses by donating!

Become a Patron!  

Interview with Julie Mastrine About Care 2 and Activism

Julie Mastrine, a self-described libertarian feminist, can often be seen on Facebook and Twitter sharing articles and petitions for many social justice issues. As a hard-working and effective activist for liberty, I felt like she would be a great person to interview. Especially as someone who utilizes social media for her work, I thought she could provide some background on what she does at Care2, as well as share some handy tips on how to make a positive difference with the causes you believe in. 

Hobbies: Fire spinning (performance art), poi, hula hooping, dancing, crafting, and sitting in San Francisco's beautiful parks!

1) How would you describe what Care2 does?

Care2 is the world's largest social network for good. We have over forty million members who are sharing stories and starting petitions that inspire action. We are an online petition site where anyone can start a petition for free or support a cause they care about. We also help nonprofits connect with the people who support their causes.

2) What kind of work do you do at Care2?

I do social media, PR, and influencer marketing for Care2. That means I help everyday citizens, celebrity influencers, and nonprofits to start online petition campaigns that get the attention of decision-makers and mostly, the media. I talk to reporters, help to stage on-the-ground events, and craft social media campaigns.

3) What are a few accomplishments of Care2 that you were involved in and are particularly proud of?

So many! I'm proud of the work I did with the Drug Policy Alliance to gather over 118,000 signatures on a Care2 petition to help a 7-year-old girl named Sophia get medical marijuana to control her epilepsy. In fact, I've worked on a number of petitions to expand marijuana access to folks suffering under prohibition in various states, including a successful petition to get a medical marijuana program underway in Pennsylvania, and another to help a woman who was undergoing chemo for lupus and rheumatoid arthritis in New Jersey, which only permits marijuana if you are undergoing chemo for cancer treatment.

I hope that my work on these types of campaigns underscores the importance of decriminalizing marijuana nationwide. A lot of people hear that states are creating medical marijuana programs, but they don't realize how truly narrow the list of qualifying conditions really is. Often, people with depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and other ailments are still left to suffer because they are prohibited from using marijuana for their ailments even with a medical marijuana program in place.

I'm also really proud of the Care2 petition campaigns I've worked on to help sex workers fight for their rights and end stigma and exploitation. One of these petitions is asking Alaska to make it illegal for police to have sex with sex workers who are under investigation. It's a totally disgusting thing that happens to these women, and is state-sponsored rape. This petition has resulted in a bill. Another petition asked California's Gov. Brown to meet with sex workers to discuss decriminalization. The women behind this campaign went to the capitol to present the signatures in person, and we were able to secure some excellent media coverage.

I'm really honored to help sex workers elevate their cause; I think these women are incredibly brave for coming out of the woodwork and making their struggles public. Sex work is still clouded by so much misinformation and stigma. They are among the bravest advocates.

4) Which political and social issues are you most passionate about?

I'm most passionate about civil liberties issues. This includes drug policy reform, privacy protection, immigration/open borders, sex worker rights, criminal justice reform, and ending mass incarceration/prisons/police brutality.

Lately, I've also been very interested in reforming local and state policies that lead to the arrests of nonviolent people. For example, food safety laws in Stockton, California resulted in a single mother of six being threatened with jail time because she sold homemade food over Facebook. I started a petition to drop the charges, and she ended up avoiding jail time. We then teamed up to work on a separate petition, alongside a startup called Josephine, to support a bill that would legalize homemade food sales in California. We organized an event at the Capitol to encourage lawmakers to vote yes, and we gave out free food. We garnered some amazing media attention, and the bill has passed out of Assembly!

I also recently started a petition to fire a police officer who violently tackled a woman who was selling flowers outside of a graduation ceremony. And we had another petition that was successful in convincing Philadelphia not to shut down a man who was giving free haircuts to the homeless (the city cited the fact that he didn't have a vendor license).

I think our society needs to think critically about how well-intentioned laws end up having unjust institutional outcomes. It may sound great to outlaw homemade food sales or require a vendor permit because we are concerned about people's safety, but the actual outcome of these laws is that they help the state reign in revenue on the backs of poor people through fines, court fees, etc. These laws also shut down perfectly harmless operations and send nonviolent people to prison just for trying to help people or to make a living. And it's everywhere. Some cities crack down on Little Free Libraries. And in the UK, police even fined a 5-year-old girl for selling lemonade!

Julie fire spinning [Image credit: Darren Kruger]

5) How can people incorporate tricks of your trade into their activism?

Very easily! Anybody can start a petition for free on Care2. It's as simple as that. Start a petition, explain your issue, and share, share, share.

Organizing a delivery event or rally to get attention is easy, too. Just print out or make some cardboard signs, decide on a time/date/place that makes sense, start a Facebook event and get a few people to commit to show up. I think activism is easier than people may think. You can also easily find contact information for local reporters and let them know what you're up to, invite them to come cover it. It doesn't have to be an intimidating process.

6) What would you recommend people do if they want to professionally pursue your line of work?

Start volunteering for activist campaigns in your free time. I know no one wants to do free labor, but this is truly how I got my start! It can be as easy as dedicating an hour or two a week to spreading the word about activist campaigns on social media, showing up to community meetings, or organizing a small rally. Then you can tout that info on your resume. There are lots of organizations that need people who have advocacy know-how. Aside from that, we're living in politically tumultuous times, and your efforts can really make a difference.

7) Engaging in activism through online means has garnered a bad reputation, and terms like "keyboard activism" echo this sentiment. Why do you think this is? How would you recommend for people to avoid situations, especially online, that give the pretense of furthering a cause, when what you're actually doing is stalling progress or even detracting from its value?

I think this negative reputation has arisen because democracy often requires a lot of work. It requires staying on top of the news cycle, doing lots of research, showing up in person to a rally/protest/community meeting, voting, calling your elected officials, and engaging with people who may disagree with you.

Democracy is a system that a lot of us may not feel we have the available time or energy to engage in. We're all working jobs and maintaining relationships and taking care of ourselves and our families, so how then are we supposed to find the time to follow closely what our representatives are doing and show up to meetings and call our officials and organize rallies? 

The internet, and petition sites like Care2, actually make engaging with elected officials much easier, as we can engage in the democratic process on these sites without sacrificing a ton of time and energy. Any criticism of online activism needs to take into account that representative democracy itself requires a lot from the individual, and the internet and sites like Care2 simply make this process a lot easier.

(I personally advocate for decentralized systems and societies that would minimize any given person's power over others, eliminating centralized political or corporate power and with it, the need to put so much energy and time into convincing a politician of your stance - but that's an essay for another day.)

I also think criticism of "keyboard activism" assumes that there isn't a ton of work being put in both online and on the ground, and there is. Online and on-the-ground activism can and do exist side by side. I mean, how are you going to turn out anybody to a protest these days without using social media? 

As far as determining online situations where progress is actually being stalled or detracted, I think it's important to think clearly about who it makes sense to target to make the appropriate change, and whether what you're asking for is lofty or actually doable. For example, I may want prison abolition, but I am okay with working to eradicate local laws that put nonviolent people in prison as a stepping stone to that end.

Liked what Julie Mastrine had to say?

Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, or visit her website!

Also, don't forget to visit Care2.

Help me conduct more interviews by supporting my work!

Become a Patron!  

Strip Club Shenanigans: What did the women look like?

In the introductory post of this series, I mentioned how it was a former friend who convinced me to work at a strip club. There were a couple of reasons why I was hesitant, and one of them was because I did not want to work for an industry that put forth a very specific image of what the "perfect" woman looked like: blonde (European descent, of course), lots of make-up, big breasts (thanks to plastic surgery), and whatever. From my observations and what I have been told, I feel comfortable saying that I am at least reasonably attractive. Over the years, I had learned to accept my face and body for what they are, so if I worked at a strip club, I figured I could get by. I was not worried that my self-esteem would plummet, but that by working at such a place, I would give credence to a very culturally subjective definition of what makes a woman attractive. The friend assured me that the women at strip clubs come in all shapes and sizes, and to prove a point, he brought me to one.

The city I worked in was, at least during the time I was there, one of the fastest growing cities in the United States. I have seen people online say that strip clubs are a good representation of what many women look like (as in they come in an array of body types), except for cities like Las Vegas where the dancers are expected to look a certain way. As I have never been in a strip club outside of Texas, I have no idea about the veracity of those kinds of statements. All I can say was that I was surprised with the variety of women who worked at the club I was at.

Funny enough, many of the advertisements I looked at for this establishment showed the very kind of woman I expected them be full of. I would laugh to myself because there was not a single woman who worked there (of those I had seen) that looked like that. Because of the location, most everybody who worked at the club were Latina/Hispanic. There were a few black dancers. It wasn't very racially diverse. Ya know, I am not even sure if I knew of any white women who worked there - there were a few dancers and waitresses who were ethnically-ambiguous and could have been white, but I'm not sure.

Maybe they just took a white-passing dancer and threw this onto her head.

I have noticed that when traveling, strip clubs and escort services tend to display busty (from implants), white blonde women in their advertisements, but I wonder if that image is representative of their workers. From experiences of my own and from my friends', probably not.

Not only did looks vary at the club, but so did age. I guess I didn't expect (what I thought was) the average age to be so high for dancers - probably in the late-twenties. There was a woman who was probably in her forties (who worked there with her daughter) and was probably the best dancer in the entire joint. Personally, I did not think many of the workers were attractive, and I had some customers complain to me about that. Nevertheless, I didn't observe the more attractive dancers making more money than the lesser attractive ones. (This is a topic for a whole new post.)

One aspect I really liked about working at the strip club was that I got to see women of various body types owning their sexuality. Whether they were young and supple, had recently given birth, or "past" their physical prime, they worked with what they had. As an admirer of the human body, I really liked working somewhere that upheld tenets of body positivity. It wasn't like the cheesy graphics you see on social media, but real life, with real women using their bodies for practical purposes.

My work doesn't support itself! (But one day, I hope it does...)

Become a Patron!  

Strip Club Shenanigans: Introduction

Yeah, not an original title...let's move on.

For the past few years, I have been trying to convince a friend of mine to blog under a pseudonym about her sex work. (She is working on it.) Then I realized how hypocritical it is of me to give her the push while I "have" experience of my own - "have" as in I did not partake in the sexual stimulations, but worked as a waitress in a strip club in Texas. I posted on Facebook, asking who would be interested in reading my stories and observations from when I did that, and I received an overwhelming positive response. So here we go.

I am going to make this into a series on this blog, but I am not sure about how many posts I will end up making, or if the series will ever truly end. For the safety of the joint, customers, and workers, I am not going to publicly disclose the name of the place I worked. Remember that while I do have a unique experience, I am only one person in a sea full of people in the industry, and experiences will definitely vary by location as well as by individual. However, I do think with my BA in anthropology, my insights are worth looking at.

In 2011, a former friend convinced me to start working as a stripper before I went off to college. I knew that my family would not be accepting of this, so I decided to look into being a waitress. Depending on the days, waitresses can sometimes make more than the strippers, which is a positive. However, I liked the freedom that the strippers had of being independent contractors, a system that would work better for my situation anyhow, since I wanted to do this near the end of summer, nearing the time I had to fly into Washington for my first quarter. Luckily, I was able to work out a deal with the establishment where I could work as an independent contractor but as a waitress.

Just because I didn't work as a stripper doesn't mean I didn't play around on the poles with other waitresses when things were slow.

I do not remember how I ended up choosing that - maybe because it was the closest to where I lived? Despite only going to be working as a waitress, my parents were the opposite of thrilled. After a lot of arguing and crying, they begrudgingly "let" me work there. I was 19 at the time. Since I did not have a car of my own and had no license, I had to pay them $10 for gas money each day I worked.

We agreed that my first day of work would be on a Sunday. Little did we know that Sundays are actually (one of) the busiest days of the week there. I did not want to work night shifts for several reasons, so I would only do day shifts. Day shifts were from 11 am to 7 pm, and evening shifts from 7 pm to 2 am. I ended up working almost solely on Sundays, until I came back the next summer (and some other times) to work on Sundays and Fridays.

Overall, I enjoyed working at a strip club. I would recommend it for those interested working in any aspect of it, with a few caveats. I would consider working there again if I needed a lot of money (according to my standards) in short notice.

Let me know in the comments if you have any questions about my experience, or if you would like me to address a certain topic in a later post.

Whether as a writer or a waitress, I like it when people tip!

Become a Patron!  

Interview with Kamtaro, a camgirl

As a young woman, it is hard for me to not be aware of the work known as camming. If you are not doing it yourself, you may have seen ads for cam sites or have had friends who became webcam models at some point. For anybody who does not know, camming is a form of online sex work where the model (usually a woman) talks with or performs sex acts for their audience. This article in The Stranger provides some more information, albeit there is a bit of romanticizing. Again, as a young woman, I know many around my age who have turned to camming, with results and experiences that aren't typically covered by the media. As a proponent of various kinds of sex work, I wanted to include a post about camming on this blog that gives an inside look at this particular occupation. This is the resulting conversation with my friend Kamtaro...

***


1) How did you become interested in camming?

A co-worker of mine was talking about it, and I thought it sounded like a fun way to make money on the side. I imagined it would be easy, just chatting with guys online and getting money for it.

2) How long did you do it for?

About three years, off-and-on.

3) What were some of your best experiences?

There was one man who called himself Barney Stinson that tipped me around one hundred dollars, and another who bought me a new webcam.

4) What were some of your worst experiences?

There were constant idiots requesting I do things for free, unsolicited "advice" from other models telling me I'd do better if I just got naked right away, and someone referring to me as a "Miley-Cyrus-looking-bitch".

5) Why were you adverse to the idea of getting naked right away on camera?

I wanted to be paid. I wasn't there to give a free wank session. If they wanted the goods, they'd have to give me something in return. Some guys have claimed that getting naked first will bring in more tips, but I've found that it isn't true, or that the money that comes isn't satisfactory - usually not even half of what I'm trying to get for that level of nudity.

6) Why did you quit camming?

It was too much work, with little-to-no pay-off, and I felt like it was getting risky as far as my personal life was going, since I started finding videos of myself on other websites that I didn't consent to sharing on. One of my friends had a guy from one site find her on Facebook and try to message her on there.

7) Have you done or considered doing private cam sessions, such as over Skype?

I used to consider it, but decided not to. I didn't want to give these guys even more ways of contacting me if I decided to leave the business.

8) Now that you no longer do it, what stands out most about your camming career?

How ridiculous the whole premise of it is, and the unrealistic expectations of how much money I'd make. It's hard to put into words why I think it's ridiculous. The clientele is usually rude, won't pay, and they'll become angry or demand too much for not enough money (guys wanting me to put stuff in my pussy - which was against cam site rules - for a measly two dollars).

9) What do you think camming businesses can do to help their models?

Better security, doing more to protect their site and models from being hacked, and protecting the videos and shows the models do from being recorded and put onto other sites.

10) What do you think is the future of the camming industry?

I think it will continue as it is now. Some women will get lucky and find an audience, others won't.

11) If someone expressed interest to you about wanting to try out camming, what advice would you give them?

I would let them know not to get their hopes up too high. You're not gonna double your income, you're gonna get sick of the audience, and you're gonna find your videos up for free on porn sites. If you do any private chats, expect that client to harass you and demand more of your time or more out of you than you're willing to provide. You really need to dedicate a lot of time and find a niche to become successful, from my experience. I think that looking at your camming career as a business would make new potential models think twice before joining.



***


Most of what Kamtaro said does not come as a surprise, since she has told me most of this information before. (In that, I admit of a conscious bias of knowing what juicy bits to try to to squeeze out of her.) However, I had no idea that one of her friends had a stranger message her on Facebook, after finding a video of her cam session. That does not surprise me, though. In another interview I have done with another friend, she told me that people who knew her (she did not know their real identities) compromised her identity by writing out her full name in the public chat of her camming page. (This particular interview is going to take a while to be published, as she requested that its publication coincide with the startup of her blog.)

With what I have heard from my friends, finding videos of themselves online that they did not agree to have recorded and/or uploaded was the final straw of their camming careers. To have these videos taken down, they need to file DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act) notices, which can be a hassle. It is hard to run a business if people in your personal or professional life cannot find out about it. From what I have listened to over the years, it seems that people should only become cam models if they do not mind their friends, family, co-workers, etc. finding out about this line of work (and a lot of Americans who have done or do sex work usually do not like it to be known publicly, which is very understandable). I have also observed that many who have gone into camming have done so after receiving overly optimistic and idealistic visions of what camming is really like.

Unfortunately, I don't cam, but you can always give me money in exchange for my writing!

Become a Patron!  

Was Bill Clinton checking out Ivanka Trump at the inauguration?

Well, was he?

Answer: I do not have the answer.

If this post is not actually about debunking whether or not he was, then what is the point of this?

In the era of fake news being brought to the attention of, and even being covered by mainstream media, I think it is important to understand the virality of the video.

On my Facebook newsfeed, I noticed many people were sharing the video, which was posted by Being Libertarian. By reading comments, commentary, and the caption to the video itself, it looked like the video contained definite proof of Bill Trump staring at Ivanka Trump. Before I go any further, please watch the scene for yourself.


Thanks to the video, the page got thousands of likes, and the post itself received a plethora of likes, shares, and comments. It was highly popular. However, since then (maybe due to copyright laws), the video was taken down. Unlike this YouTube video, the video on Facebook was of high quality, and was a single shot, versus this video has a transition. (I think this video has a transition because it takes a while for Hillary to look at her husband, and it wants to get straight to the point.)

Even though the quality and editing of the original video I watched and this one are different, they share something in common - we do not even see what/whom Bill is staring at.

So why are these versions of the video going viral? Because of the captions and titles of the videos. We had the image, but all we needed was a suggestion to let our imaginations run wild. I see similar sensational headlines, usually having to do with a male politician "checking out" a woman who is not his wife. When I watch the video, everyone had been in the middle of turning their heads, and it just "happened" to be paused at an awkward-looking moment.

For this headline to go even more viral, the videos should have been edited to include a video of Ivanka at the inauguration, especially if cut into the middle of the clips of the Clintons. And that is what I found from some of the videos listed on YouTube. The problem is that we do not even know if the cuts to Ivanka Trump are happening at the same time, and even if they are, if Bill is even looking at her. To be fair, the photography and videography necessary to conclude whether or not he was staring at her would probably be hard to come by, especially since there were so many things (and more important things) happening at the inauguration.

Whether or not Bill was "mentally undressing" Ivanka (like I saw a few articles describe it), we will probably not know for sure. However, anybody seriously sharing these videos have been very misled. These are people who are confirming their biases that Bill is a terrible person. (There are so many other things that you can talk about regarding that, if you that is what you are going for.) A similar (but not identical) situation is currently happening with a video TMZ shared about A Dog's Purpose with its usage of cut clips, headlines, and captions.

"I see you sharing that video."

Follow me on Patreon!

SaveSave

Taking a look at Meryl Streep's Golden Globes speech

As a person who has just earned my BA in the theatre arts, I feel that it is my duty to selectively analyze bits of pop culture as it relates to the arts. Thus, I will be picking apart some of Meryl Streep's speech from the 2017 Golden Globes, and criticisms from antagonists. If you have not done so already, please watch the video. I find that it is better to observe something in its full context before critiquing it. If you are morally opposed to video watching, I guess a transcript will have to do.


The main reason I have seen people arguing over what Streep had to say revolved around politics and art: 1) Artists, including actors, are paid to make art, not talk about politics; 2) she said that football and martial arts are not the arts.

To clear the air...Yes, the arts and politics mix. A little too well. Because history has seen to it that art and politics should not mix. Governments, especially tyrannical ones, do not like freedom of speech and expression, including art. In recent times, the Cuban arts have been suppressed. Nazi Germany was not nice towards artists and their work (and other people) either. If you want to look more into the suppression of the arts, just ask...Google, because I am not an art historian. (Maybe check out Doctor Zhivago.) The point being if you are afraid about how your government is going to (or may) go after you or others because they do not like your art, you have the full right to speak out.

Also, when you write, perform, paint, etc. content, you are a product of your times. I am an early 21st century writer, and a libertarian. Whether or not I write about the 21st century or libertarianism, this background information will manage to show. Even if I strove to not make myself sound like I am from this time period or a libertarian, it would be hard to manage. Political and cultural events are some of what make us who we are. If you are trying to find deeper meaning within an artistic piece, you have to learn about the artist and where and when they lived.

Now with what is not the arts...It seems to me that Streep is saying if we keep out immigrants (or kick them out) and inhibit diversity, we will lose the arts. And she said that football and martial arts are not the arts, which upset many people.

Before I go into this, I need you to understand what art is. What is art if not all paintings are art? Neither are all illustrations, statues, performances, etc. Sure, they may have artistic elements or require great skill to be made, but that is not what makes art. Sometimes what people mistake for art is actually decoration, propaganda, imitation or whatever else. And remember, art is not about being beautiful; sometimes it is ugly or disgusting.

Stalinist propaganda. Beautiful, skillful propaganda.

Art is a creation using emotional labor and technical skill, resulting in a piece or presentation that naturally comments upon the subject and produces an emotional or intellectual reaction within an individual, understanding that the reactions will (and should) vary. It is really hard to define art. People have been doing it for thousands of years. Then there are debates about what is and isn't art. (If the debates don't get too hostile, they're pretty fun.) I would not think that any two people who understand what art is would agree 100% on what constitutes it.

Both football and martial arts have elements of art in them. Would I call them art? No and yes. I do not think that football is art. Martial arts? Yes, to an extent. It is kinda in the name, but what I think can make martial arts an actual art is if it is performed theatrically, such as in a presentation. I would not call fighting art, even if it is skillful. You could argue that wrestling WWE-style is art. Related: The Elaborate Entrance of Chad Deity is a play that looks at wrestling and art.

My problem with Streep's statement is not that she does not think football and martial arts are not art, it is that she comes off as dismissive of these activities, whether she meant to or not. It is true that sports (or athletic activities - whatever you want to call them) is not the same as art. In putting down martials arts and football, she provides more ammunition in furthering the divide between socioeconomic classes. If she had worded it differently, I think much of the controversy regarding football/art/martial arts would have been avoided.
Now that the art versus football and martial arts section has been covered, it is time to move on to another controversy - speaking out against Donald Trump. As I had mentioned earlier, politics and art are linked. So, were her criticisms fair?
I think so. We could probably argue all day about whether or not Trump actually did make fun of the disabled reporter, as Streep and others have claimed, but I think this really comes down to something else. Other than saying artists should not talk about politics, I have noticed Trump supporters clinging onto a few other arguments: 1) These artists would not dish out criticisms towards liberal politicians, and 2) she is (and the Hollywood Elite are) out-of-touch.
So what if Hollywood artists are hypocrites, staying silent when their favorite politicians do things that they would be all too eager to harshly criticize a conservative politician for? Like I said, it is hypocritical, and I wish people would notice their inconsistencies more often, but people are going to criticize no matter what, and if I have a liberal criticizing the bad stuff Trump does while ignoring what Obama has done, I will still take it over no criticism at all. Some of these conservatives just come across as being infuriated that anyone has opinions different than their own. (And it is not just a conservative thing...Look at liberals and the 2016 presidential election.)
Meryl Streep mentions that it is a privilege to be an actor, although I would not say in the way we are used to using the word now. The whole reason she gave this speech was to remind the room and the world about the diversity of Hollywood, and that those who are privileged need to stand up for immigrants since Hollywood is shaped by (and currently consists of) them, as well as First Amendment rights because of his feud with the media.
Will a Trump presidency be as bad as Hollywood is making it out to seem? I hope not. Does Meryl Streep have valid concerns? I think she does. Was it appropriate to make this kind of speech at an awards ceremony? I don't know, and I don't care too much. I do not watch them, and I know that people make all kinds of speeches while there, including letting others make speeches for humanitarian causes. Instead of dismissing what Streep has said, we should weigh each of of her points. Everyone has a right to let their political views be known, so let us brush aside the guise of shutting down misinformation by saying, "This person doesn't know politics!" (in this case, artists). That is just an attempt to silence people.  (How do we even figure out who is qualified enough to talk about politics? Am I? I'm an artist.) What we need is to engage in dialogue, and most of the criticism I encounter does not do that.

Maybe Trump supporters are still butthurt over this.

SaveSaveSaveSave SaveSaveSaveSave
SaveSaveSaveSave
SaveSaveSaveSaveSaveSave
SaveSave
Become a Patron!