My naked picture - six months later

If nudity, especially that of Katrina Haffner, is something you would not wish to look at, then reading this particular post is not for you.

Today is March 8, 2015. Six months ago and six days ago, September 2, 2014, I wrote about a privacy breach that exposed nude photos and videos of female celebrities. The post contained a lot of pent-up anger I had felt every time a female celebrity had private photos exposed to the world. Most of this anger resonated within me because instead of most of the backlash being aimed at the person who released the photo(s), it was fixed on the female celebrity, making it seem like society only cared about how "stupid" the celebrity was for taking pictures of herself in the first place. Not only did I write about the absurdity of the victim blamers, I took a naked picture photo of myself.

I was braced for what I thought was going to be a shitstorm of fury. Despite being warned from my family at a younger age about taking risque photos of myself lest they become leaked later in life, I did not elicit a reaction from them. Neither did anyone else around me say anything bad about the picture. In fact, a lot of people I know were congratulating me on my bravery and offering to buy me beers. I never did think that what I had done was brave. I still don't feel that way. While I feel more exposed, I don't equate my overcoming of that feeling with courage. With so many beer offers, I felt like all of those people could have instead pitched in to present me with my own harem.

Or bring back Marlon Brando from the dead...and have him in my harem

A couple of conversations, both in real life and online, stand out from the rest concerning my choice to post that photo on this blog. One happened while I was at a dance, and a friend came up to me to ask why I had decided to put it up, not in a demeaning way, but in a curious manner. I told him that talking about the normalization of nudity without participating in it felt hypocritical, and he was one of those people who commented on my bravery. After him, I had a few more talks similar to that one. On my Facebook about a month ago, I posted about that nude picture, and a Facebook friend commented how nobody in their right mind would do that. Then he realized that I was being serious. So while that was not a purposefully offensive thing to say, it made me contemplate the mindset of those who judge the actions of other people, especially within the realms of nudity and sexuality.

The conversation that put me on edge the most was from some guy online. He did not shame me for posting the picture, but told me how I will probably regret it later. Sure, I had a few people ask if I had really thought it through (and I was easily able to reassure them that I did), but this time, I took it personally. By saying that I didn't think it all the way through and will very likely regret it later in life, you are insulting my intelligence. Do you not think that this was something I thought very carefully about? I figured when I had made the final decision to take a naked picture of myself that if I came to regret this, then too bad. What if I learned that a potential employer saw it, and as a result, didn't hire me? Too fucking bad. All it would do is prove my point.

Maybe the actual negative responses to the photo were being said behind my back. I wouldn't be surprised. Even though I consciously try not to create any drama, people still manage to talk shit about me. Oh, humans. A few have pointed out to me that the responses may have been different if I looked different, as in if I wasn't attractive. I had definitely thought of that. If any edits to the photo were made, it was probably just cropping or some lighting adjustments - I made sure to leave it relatively untouched and natural. Because a lot of people think I'm attractive, I feared that some would think that I only put up the photo in order to get traffic. I won't lie, it's definitely cool seeing how popular that post has become, but that is not the reason why I took it.

Other than Avatar: the Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra searches, "Katrina Haffner naked" searches make up a good chunk of the keywords people use to find themselves at La Commedia Politica. Are people searching for that specific post, or are they just creeping on me? Who really knows. The weirdest search as of yet that I have seen someone use to find this blog was "Katrina Haffner full frontal" - I guess the logic here being that if I have a completely naked photo of my backside, there must be one of my front too. While I do give people permission to enjoy looking at my naked picture, some also choose to share their perverted thoughts about it with me. I don't exactly know what I want to say in regards to that.

While I am happy with the picture, and happily surprised with the positive responses to it, it never seemed like enough. When I was running the idea through my head of writing about the celebrity privacy breach, the nude photo didn't come to mind until much later into the brainstorming sessions. Once I had it in there, I couldn't get it out, but what got me was the kind of nude photo I wanted to take. At first, I was thinking of a full-on breast shot. However, that seemed too much like a "Hey guy I am hooking up with currently, these are my tits" kind of picture, and if I was going to advertise that post using the picture (because why not milk it a little?), Facebook and other sites would take it down for sure. Funny how ass and breast photos elicit different reactions. Not to mention, I wanted something more artistic, and the kind of photo you would send to your casual partner at 3 AM because you can't sleep didn't really cut it. With the sort of picture I decided to take, I wanted to emphasize the human form without necessarily sexualizing it.

Now, I am taking the steps I was too scared to take six months prior. Like the original post, this is something I have thought well through, and will be damned if I back out. The guilt of not showing any of my front side has weighed on me for months, and it's time to let it off my shoulders.

It's not the best quality photo. Cropping it and changing the lighting was the only editing work done. It took me a few days to figure out what kind of pose I wanted to do. If I had an actual photographer, it may have turned out a little bit different. I could have chosen from tens, maybe even hundreds of pictures to find the "perfect" one. However, by having my laptop set to a timer to take the photo, it took a lot of work to take even just one picture. I had to make sure the webcam was adjusted to the right height, click to take the photo, then run to the chair to do my pose. Because of all of this exhausting work, I didn't have a limitless supply of photos to choose from. This picture was one of the first ones I took. It was probably the first one that I took that was not blurry and where I was in the right pose. I had meant to close my eyes, but in the few second rush to get in the right pose, I forgot to do so. I was meaning to try out a few with my eyes closed, and others with my eyes open, but the more I took after this one, I just couldn't keep going on. I am wearing makeup, but let's be honest, I don't think my face is the main focus of the picture

What stood out to me was the movement. Probably one reason why it's not great quality. To me, it makes it seem more natural. When I first looked at it, I didn't like it. Then I studied it a bit more, and decided to keep it in case no other photo turned out well. After deciding to use the picture, I started disliking it again. It wasn't that I thought I looked unattractive, but I didn't look as attractive as I could be. The most glaringly obvious example would be the curve of my waist to my hips - it usually looks more prominent (makes up my hourglass shape), but at the angle in this photo, I think I look somewhat straight figured. I dismissed these thoughts because I think the world should know that even attractive people have insecurities about their looks, no matter how superficial.

You do have permission to look at and enjoy this photo, but you do not have my consent to use this against me in a negative fashion.

You may call me brave, but do so according to my willingness to showcase my insecurities, not because I am showing my naked body to the world. What will bring me even greater joy than complimenting by body or spirit is to join me in this endeavor to get the world to appreciate the naked human form, without having it always be about sex. Even if it is about sexual appeal, respect people's choices to show themselves off, while refraining from objectification.

Maybe next September, you all will get to see my vulva.

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Nude celebs - what's the big deal?

If you have genitals, you probably know that there was a huge privacy breach that exposed videos and photos from over one hundred celebrities. (All women I think - just goes to show that there is a need for more female hackers.)

For those curious, these are some of the celebrities affected: Jennifer Lawrence, Michelle Keegan, Kirsten Dunst, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ariana Grande, Victoria Justice, Kate Upton, Hope Solo, Krysten Ritter, Yvonne Strahovski, Teresa Palmer, Avril Lavigne, Kim Kardashian, and Rihanna.

A few of these famous people have denied these photos of being theirs, some outright say that those are photos of them, and others like Jennifer Lawrence's representative say, "The authorities have been contacted and will prosecute anyone who posts the stolen photos of Jennifer Lawrence," which is a more professional way of saying, "Yes, those are her titties."

When reading articles and comments on social media regarding this, I was displeased to discover a myriad of comments like these:

1) "Most importantly...where can I find these?"

2) "These celebrities deserve it. Why are they complaining anyways? It's like a celeb rite of passage. They always have their fame and money to cheer themselves up."

3) "There is one simple answer to all of this: DON'T TAKE NUDE PICTURES OF YOURSELF!! God, people are so stupid."

The problem I have with the first comment is that it is called a "privacy breach" for a reason - it is violating people's privacy. Sure, I am curious how some of these celebrities look in the nude (especially with the lack of professional lighting, Photoshop, etc.), but I try not to encourage the exploitation of these individuals, especially since these photos and videos were posted without their consent.

I felt bad enough sharing this on my personal Facebook - Libertarian Troll

Somehow, a lot of people think that celebrities literally have it all. "Is  John Travolta depressed? He's famous and has a lot of money - he can just buy the new "Be Happy Forever" medication that only rich people can afford! Wait...no such thing? He still has a lot of money...and he's famous. A lot of people like famous people. Also, didn't you know that money can buy happiness?" If these celebrities wanted the public to see these naked photos, they would have found a way to make it happen - staged it in a way that actually makes the individual stand out. "Hope Solo has private photos released at the same time as over a hundred other female celebs? Who cares - I'd rather ogle over an Oscar winner!" (Okay, I admit, I had to look her up to see who she was and make sure she wasn't an Oscar winner to make the joke work.)

I hope that not everybody forgot that celebrities are human beings too.

So the third example is probably the most-said and is definitely the one that pisses me off the most. I seriously would not be surprised if over half of my Facebook friends have nude photos of themselves. It is when nude or partially-nude pictures of celebrities emerge that I notice slut-shaming at its worst. First off, these people have the rights to take pictures/videos of themselves and send them to those who want them. Secondly, why does the United States have to be so prudish?? Good luck to the mother who wants to breastfeed her hungry child in public without anybody flipping shit. If you want to feel sexy, go for it (hopefully you don't rely on the opinions of others to feel confident though). If you think believe nudity is natural, you may just be right.

Jennette McCurdy on Reddit

As for "knowing better" because these may come back to haunt you some day...Why should the public even care? Last time I checked, my GPA does not rely on how sexually-attractive or "immoral" I am. (I mean sure, there may be some subconscious influence, and I would be lying if I said it would be terrible if my GPA did rely on my attractiveness - though it is subjective.) Why should a man not be hired by a company because sexy pictures he took of himself for his wife five years ago were found?

Penis ≠ Incompetence

Vulva ≠  Incompetence

Breasts ≠ Incompetence

Butt ≠ Incompetence

We all have at least one of these body parts (butts). "Oh my god, I have seen his bare tush - we can't hire him!"

Even if a person does regret taking photos of him/herself and is afraid of a possible leak, it does not mean that the person deserves to feel that way. This is just speculation, but I think it is very likely that the main reason someone is afraid of having risque photos uncovered is because of the fear of being shamed. Why shame someone for something they did in private, which does not hurt anyone?

The Onion made a very good point that every potential 2040 US presidential candidate is unelectable due to social media.

What do y'all think about government action on behalf of victims?

Scarlett Johansson's hacker was sentenced to ten years in prison. Is this a worthy punishment? Is there a better way of dealing with this individuals? (I am not talking about victory parades.)

Rumor has it that these photos and videos from this ordeal were obtained via Apple's iCloud. I will not bash people for having this kind of content on the cloud or their phones, but just be aware of how easily it can be accessed by those with bad intentions. (If we cannot trust Apple with our nude photos, how can we trust them with our wallets?)

There are jokes (or maybe they're not supposed to be...) that someone from the NSA leaked them. Whether or not that is true, it is scary to think how they can look at your personal stuff. However, as a friend once told me, "I don't care if the NSA sees me naked. The poor people who work there are always being antagonized by the public. If the sight of my genitalia makes them even a little bit more happy, so be it."

I am glad that I am not the only person pointing out the ridiculousness of this "scandal," Forbes has this great piece on it, so does Clickhole, Daily Life, and The Huffington Post.

The point of this all is that nudity is nudity. I am a firm believer that our obsession with over-sexualizing and shaming the naked body needs to stahp. Judge me all you want, but I am not ashamed of the God-given beauty that is my body.

Taking one for the team

You have my consent to look at this and even enjoy it. However, you do not have my consent to use it in a way that will reflect badly upon me or make me feel bad about myself. Why am I doing this? Some people may think it is for attention. To be honest, if utilized correctly, I could make this a very popular post. The real reason I am doing this though is because I would feel a bit hypocritical for writing about nudity not being a big deal, then keeping myself hidden. It sure is one thing to talk to talk, but another to walk the walk.

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